


grew a little;

by lilevans (orphan_account)



Series: jilytober 2017 [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drabble, F/M, jily, jily drabble, stupid, this is short and sad and im sad abt the fact that THEYRE DEAD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-09
Updated: 2017-10-09
Packaged: 2019-01-15 04:51:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12314115
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/lilevans
Summary: "they're all stupid, but maybe they'll know better when they're older"or, the small jily thing i wrote for jilytober bc im rlly fuckin sad.





	grew a little;

_**"so then we grew a little, and knew a lot."** _

 

* * *

 

_he's a stupid boy._  severus tells you this that first day on the train and you believe him because he and that friend of his seem unnecessarily callous. but you still think in the pit of your heart that there's more to him than that. not that you'll ever tell sev that. and you're eleven. maybe you'll know better _when you're older._

* * *

he's still stupid. he teases you for the freckles across your nose and he makes your ball your fists in frustration. being thirteen with knobbly knees and hormones doesn't look very good on either of you. sev is always strange and jealous he's around. you try not to think about it. maybe they'll both know better when you're all older.

* * *

they're both stupid. sev stupid to think he could own you, and so was potter. you are not something to be owned. you're fifteen, for gods sake. you tell Marlene and Mary this in the dorm that night, as they hold your hand while you cry for that lost friendship and that dumb boy. they let you sit with them with your damp ginger hair and you know they've got you. and you can't help but think, maybe we'll be better when we're older.

* * *

 

maybe you were the stupid one. he makes you laugh and you know how that he never meant any harm, but you made his heart jump. you know what he means now, because his touch is like a soothing song and an electric jolt all at once. James you're an idiot, you'll tell him through laughs. you hope he knows what you really mean. you know deep down he does. when he looks at you with that big dumb grin, it makes you terrified, because seventeen is too young to be in love like this, to be in war like this one. you can't do either right now, really, even though you know you will do both anyway. but maybe you'll know better when you're older.

* * *

 

you're all a little bit stupid. young and fighting in this cruel war and you don't really know why. you know that muggleborns are supposedly inferior, you know that this is history repeating, but when a hufflepuff you went to school with is found dead in her home surrounded by her loved ones, hand in hand with her brother, you think, what the fuck is this all for? you are nineteen, and when she will never be twenty. it's not fair. James has got you, and it's dumb, but you know he has. he and his dumb friends make you laugh and the ache in the throat goes away and you begin to think it will be okay. maybe you'll be happier when you're older.

* * *

_he's the stupidest boy you've ever met._ he can't towel harry's hair dry properly and he always forgets to wash his shaven beard hair out of the sink. but he loves you and harry and he makes you glad to be alive. maybe the prophecy won't come true, maybe your family can be happy. but then you hear it. _lily, he's coming, take harry and go, I'll hold him off._ you think, _stupid, brave, man._ you're twenty one and he's downstairs, no wand. and you know he's going to die  tonight. and you think you will too. but harry will live, he _must._

the man who isn't really a man (he's more death than man) is in the room, cold voice making you tremble. your husband is dead, and you know you will join him, but harry won't. not until he's had kids of his own.

you don't stand aside. you die for your son, and you hope that the creature that tried to kill your son will die too. you hope harry will know he's loved, right now and always. you hope he will know how much you and james loved him.

_but maybe he'll know when he's older. _

**Author's Note:**

> HEY JOKES ON U JILY AINT DEAD THEY'RE ALIVE AND WELL!!!!!!!!!!
> 
> (title from sleep on the floor by the lumineers)


End file.
